


Constructs

by bielefelts



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Post canon, Sexuality/Gender talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23380048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bielefelts/pseuds/bielefelts
Summary: Beauty...love...time. What is human existence but a multitude of constructs?To Shu, they're all stifling.
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika
Comments: 6
Kudos: 71





	Constructs

“Do ya like girls?”

As per usual, Mika’s questions come suddenly and out of the blue. It catches Shu utterly off-guard and completely unprepared. “Well…” Shu starts, taking a moment to think, putting down the book he had been reading. “I suppose so, depending on the context of ‘like’ you’re aiming at. I am a lover of all things beautiful and beauty is not restricted to human constructs such as gender after all.”

“Ah, yeah?” Mika nods, eyes bright, fascinated at Shu’s answer as he puts down the sewing project he is working on and goes to join Shu on the couch. “I had a feelin’ that you’d say ya like guys, but that makes sense too. Ya do love Madonee a lot after all and she’s a lady.”

“Hmph, so you do mean it in such a trivial regard,” Shu says, unimpressed. Mika’s simplemindedness regarding such philosophical topics never ceases to amaze him. “I do love Mademoiselle, but that is a different sort of love. I consider her a part of my family – as a sister or intimate friend of sorts. Whether you want to believe it or not, my first love was embarrassingly a woman much older than myself,” Shu confesses as he remembers his childhood crush on Kiryuu’s mother.

While Mika isn’t wrong in assuming that he had always pictured himself with a man more than a woman in rosy, fleeting thoughts of romantic escapades or within dreams where he toyed with traditional ideas like raising a family in the future, he can’t say that it isn’t exclusive to one or the other. For him gender isn’t the issue as much as the aesthetics and the quality of the person’s soul. It’s something he even abided by in his art and own lifestyle. While nature may separate the sexes through reproductive roles and base instincts, such arbitrary constructs as gender were only created by the human mind’s instinct to categorize and define such things. It limits beauty and art’s potential, smothering anything or anyone that does not fit into that neat dichotic box, even when humans were the only creatures of truly freeing themselves of such roles. Shu had personally learned of the ignorance of the masses and the lengths they would take to erase such dissidence early on. That being said, he isn’t about to explain such things. He knows it will go over his companion’s head anyways.

And sure enough, Mika instead zones in on the mysterious past 'tryst' between Shu and this woman. “Wahhh? And here I thought ya liked only small, young-lookin’ people back then. Though, I guess Shu-san’s always been so mature too~”

The tone is obviously teasing, but it still hits a nerve. “Now, just what are you insinuating with that comment? I have always been mature, thank you.” Shu says sharply. “And before you get funny ideas, she was like a second mother to me. In my pre-adolescence I thought she was the perfect person. The only one aside Mademoiselle who accepted me, not only understanding my interests, but in teaching me all I know today… in loving me. She was patient, kind, and warm – much unlike my own mother who ridiculed me and belittled my hobbies.” He pauses to take a breath. “Regardless, she is no longer in this world and the love I held for her is much different than the one I hold for you. I believe I do not need to explain myself there.” He ends there, not wanting to dwell on the past, especially on memories that still stung his heart. That is one thing he had promised himself years ago that he would longer do.

“Hmm...” Mika hums, remunerating what Shu had confided to him. “Then if it ain’t ‘cuz I’mma guy then what makes me different?”

“I was young back then – innocent. I didn’t hold any se-…” Shu stops himself, attempting to think of a less crude term. “My view of love was simply more pure, is all." He sees Mika snicker at Shu’s prudeness but chooses to ignore it. “What brought about this question anyway? We’re together, are we not? Don’t tell me that you think I have been eyeing some woman now? You’re preposterous to believe I would ever leave you.”

“Nah, nah, it ain’t that! I know yer eyes are only on me~” Mika reassures, with a somewhat boastful smile. “I was jus’ curious I guess? We’ve never really talked about it so… sorry if it was a weird question.” He comes up to Shu and kisses him apologetically.

Shu sighs and presses back. “There's no need to apologize.” Really, Mika doesn’t. If anything, Shu let his emotions get a bit out of hand there. He threads his fingers into Mika’s soft locks as he lets him cuddle up next to him. “However, while on the topic, I am curious myself now to know your status. Even before we got together you’ve never really seemed to be interested in women romantically despite you being friendly with so many. However, I don’t recall you ever speaking much about men in that sort of manner either.”

“Hmm…” Mika places his hand on his chin in thought as he nests into Shu’s chest, enjoying the attention. “That’s really hard ta say. I guess I never really thought ‘bout it?”

Shu sighs again. Of course Mika would ask him personal questions like that and not apply them to himself.

“Like…girls are cute, yeah. They’re real easy to talk to and are soft and pretty and smell nice, but I can’t remember ever really thinkin’ about kissin’ or marryin’ a girl,” Mika says, contemplatively. “As fer guys, that’s where it gets hard fer me ta explain. Like, yer a guy and yer obviously the most gorgeous an’ sexy person ever and I fell fer ya as soon as I saw ya~. And other guys can be really good-lookin’ too, but while I ain’t as scared as I used to be as a kid I still ain’t all that comfy with ‘em so I can’t say I really like men either, ya know?”

“Is that so?” Shu says. “Well, I cannot say that is particularly a surprise to me either,” Or at about least Mika being similar to him in that dating was not at the top of his agenda. His profound distrust of men however was one aspect about Mika that was still an enigma to Shu. While he too did not favor most other males as they were often the most disgusting and brutish of the masses on this Earth, Mika’s dislike is different, rooted in fear rather than an aesthetic taste. He has long been aware of it and knows it stems from the time before Mika moved in with him to his family home as he had numerously voiced his discomfort when Shu had first proposed coming to Yumenosaki’s all-male idol program at the time, but the cause…? While Shu cannot say he isn’t slightly curious (and more than slightly anxious at knowing the truth), it is not like it ever affected their relationship. Mika will tell him when he is ready and Shu will be there for him regardless if he ever does or not. 

He feels Mika’s arms tighten around him. “Hehe, this is kinda embarassin’ but…I’ve admired ya for so long I can’t say I ever liked anyone else.”

Shu blinks. “And how long is that?” he asks.

“Since I first met ya, I guess...” Mika’s red face emphasizes the honesty of his words.

Shu is silent following that confession. He makes a quick calculation in his head. They had first coincidentally met briefly as children and considering how long it has been since they were in high school and their ages now…? That would make the number of years—

“Oh…” Shu simply says realizing the number. Not only is it significantly longer than when Shu had known Mika (he had mostly forgotten their initial meeting after all), let alone realized his feelings for the other, but did in fact span the majority of Mika’s life.

Shu feels grossly inadequate now. Considering how he had acted towards the now love of his life and lifetime partner for their first two years after Mika had come to live with him is not something Shu is proud of. The guilt isn’t new and is something he still reflected upon. The worst part is that he cannot even say he didn’t know of Mika's more-than-platonic feelings for him back then – it had been clear even to Shu’s willful ignorance he did. It is because of that, he has been spending these last few years trying to make up for his behavior and becoming a better person for Mika. But now with the knowledge with _precisely_ how long Mika had been harboring what had to have been an unrequited love for him? It sat heavier in his heart more than ever.

“Shu-san?” Having gone quiet Mika looks up at him with concern.

Shu blinks. “U-um, yes. I’m fine, my apologies.” He moves his arm around Mika’s waist bringing him closer to kiss the crown of his head. It is not to hide his burning cheeks and eyes from the sheer adoration spilling from his heart he held from Mika’s vision, most definitely not.

“N-nah? Okay…“ Mika mumbles just above his collarbone, his head trapped in Shu’s hold. He brings his arms to wrap around the other too the best he could from his position.

They stay like that for a while. Quiet aside the gentle, rhythmic echo of a clock ticking from the other room that synchronized with their own heartbeats.

A ticking that they both knew wouldn’t stop until their gears rusted and deteriorated away.

“Mika...” Shu breaks the silence. “You’ll stay with me until time ceases to exist, correct?”

He feels Mika smile against his skin. “Yeah, we’s gonna be together forever…even in Hell, remember?”

Shu himself smiles at the familiar line. “Yes, I do,” he breathes out. “Just…please, I want you to know-…“ He removes Mika face from its hiding place to look at him to face his love, his most precious person – _his soulmate_ – squarely in the eyes; no barriers or fronts to hide behind. “I want you to know that I plan to be with you until then as well. No– beyond that. Until Hell’s fires go out. Until God himself ceases to exist. Until nothing, even our existences, our souls, the very red string that I believe ties us together disintegrates leaving us adrift in an empty nothingness. _I will be with you_.” Shu whispers out the last line, almost desperate in its declaration.

Mika’s eyes widen at the grave sincerity of Shu’s words matching the tight hold gripping his shoulders, but they quickly return to the loving assurity that always acted as Shu’s anchor even in the most tempestuous of storms and likewise the hook that always pulled him into uncharted waters. He unfastens Shu hands to hold them comparatively gently in his own. “Shu-san, I appreciate ya fer tellin’ me. It means a lot fer me who always used ta think I wasn’t good enough fer ya and was gonna be tossed away like a failed doll because I wasn’t up ta yer standards. But I know now that ain’t true at all and it ain’t because of yer tellin’ me now, ya know?” He brings his lips to kiss each of Shu’s knuckles, resting a little longer on both the last two digits, making Shu's chest grow tight. “It’s because I’ve known ya fer a long time, Shu-san.” And Mika smiles that sweet smile leaving Shu absolutely breathless.

Out of words and overwhelmed by the sheer love pumping red hot in his veins, clouding his vision and choking his throat, Shu leans forward to halfway meet a waiting warm and comforting mouth.

While Mika had realistically waited only a few years, Shu aims to give what is left his life and beyond to make up for it, whether it is through art or another method he had yet discovered. But now he knew he had time. What is temporality but a human construct too, after all?

**Author's Note:**

> An old thing I decided to finally finish. I think a lot of us need something soft and comfy right now. 
> 
> If anyone is wondering of the meaning behind Mika kissing Shu's pinky finger (I think the ring finger is obvious) please check out the legend of the Red String of Fate!


End file.
